Love in the Time of Longevity
Fixing the Retirement Timeline
By Carroll S. Golden, CLU, ChFC, CLTC, CASL, LECP, FLMI, LACP
Author of Leading in the New Retirement Era and How Not to Pull Your Family Apart
Consider this a February love letter—not the romantic kind, the realistic kind.
A love letter to the version of you that will be 67.
And 78.
And 86.
Because the greatest act of love isn’t pretending those years won’t come.
It’s preparing for them with intention—so you don’t leave the people you love scrambling to figure it out later.
February reminds us that love isn’t just expressed in chocolate and flowers.
It’s in how we prepare.
It’s in how we protect.
And in how we make sure the people we care about aren’t left guessing when life changes or being forced to make decisions without any direction from us.
Here’s the problem: most retirement planning still follows a timeline that doesn’t align with the lives we live today.
It’s built like retirement is a single event.
A finish line.
A handoff to rest.
But longevity turned it into a multi-phase journey—longer, more layered, and more human than ever before.
So, let’s fix the map.
The Retirement Cliff vs. The Retirement Runway
Traditional retirement planning still treats retirement like a cliff:
One day you’re working. The next, you’re not.
One day you’re “a valuable employee.” The next, you’re “a retiree.”
It’s a sharp break—and it creates a quiet emotional fallout:
anxiety
disorientation
regret
and, in many individuals and families, a growing sense of “Wait… what now?”
But in a world where many people will live into their 80s, 90s, or even beyond 100, that cliff model doesn’t just feel outdated.
It can be destabilizing—both financially and emotionally.
It also doesn’t reflect what actually happens in most families.
Retirement isn't a moment. It’s a series of moments—each with new roles, new dynamics, and new decisions.
The better model?
A runway.
Retirement isn’t a single point.
It’s a series of strategic transitions—and love does better when we plan for transitions instead of pretending life stays smooth.
Think of retirement as three phases:
1) The Freedom Phase (60s–early 70s)
Still active. Still sharp. High energy.
You may downshift, but you’re not done.
This is where many people:
consult
mentor
launch a second act
support aging parents
step into grandparenthood
or build something purpose-driven
You’re likely still contributing, still building, still caring for others.
You may begin volunteering, relocating, or restructuring your work-life rhythm.
This phase is full of possibilities—and it’s also when many families quietly begin the “wealth transfer” or “responsibility shift” without naming it.
Aging parents may require more help. Adult children may need guidance or financial support.
The baton begins to pass—sometimes in small, barely noticeable ways.
2) The Adaptation Phase (mid-70s–80s)
This is where the emotional landscape shifts.
Energy changes. Relationships evolve.
Care needs arise—for a spouse, a sibling, or friends.
This phase demands planning for:
Identity: Who am I now that my work, caregiving, or core role has changed?
Mobility: How do I stay connected to life if my body starts setting new terms?
Community: Who do I turn to, and who turns to me?
Support: Who is part of the plan when life throws a curveball?
This phase can feel like a slow erosion—or an unexpected landslide.
A diagnosis. A fall. The loss of a spouse.
It’s the phase where love becomes less poetic and more operational.
Planning at this stage means clarifying:
Who has the documents
Who understands the care preferences
Who knows what needs to happen next
And it means shifting the focus from independence alone to interdependence by design.
3) The Legacy Phase (late 80s+)
This phase is about reflection, simplification, and meaning.
It’s where families focus on transfer—not only of wealth, but of:
values
stories
wisdom
and “the things we don’t want to leave unfinished.”
Here, the conversation changes again.
It’s less about control and more about continuity.
Less about accumulation and more about contribution.
This is the phase where our lives echo forward—through memory, generosity, and the way we’ve set others up to thrive.
Many families have already begun the “responsibility transfer” by this point, whether they realize it or not.
And a Retirement Synthesist™ doesn’t just create income strategies.
They help shape this entire runway—so every phase has purpose, support, and dignity.
What Traditional Retirement Planning Misses
Most retirement plans are built around numbers:
cash flow
taxes
Social Security
RMDs
risk tolerance
All important.
But math alone doesn’t hold a marriage together during a health crisis.
It doesn’t help an adult child suddenly responsible for coordinating care and finances.
And it doesn’t address the fear, fatigue, or frustration that often follows a “simple” retirement decision.
What’s missing in traditional planning?
The human story.
Questions like:
What will this person do with their time—and their identity—when the title disappears?
What silent obligations (like caregiving) might hijack the plan?
What happens emotionally if a spouse declines first?
Who becomes the decision-maker—and do they know it?
What will “love” require if independence shifts?
These aren’t hypotheticals.
They’re inevitabilities.
And a Retirement Synthesist™ doesn’t treat them as side notes.
They treat them as the core of the strategy.
Reframing Longevity as Capacity, Not Fragility
We’re taught to fear longer lives:
more health problems
more costs
more time to outlive our money
But what if we flipped that script?
Longevity = expanded capacity.
More capacity to lead into your 70s and 80s
More capacity to teach, mentor, and create
More capacity to influence what gets passed on—financially and emotionally
More capacity to deepen relationships—if you plan for the stress points
The longer we live, the more opportunities we have to shape the future for those we love.
But only if we treat those years with intention—not assumption.
That’s why “financial advisor” isn’t enough anymore.
A Retirement Synthesist™ is the evolved identity—because it integrates:
health, family systems, purpose, caregiving, legacy, and income.
It’s orchestration.
Not transaction.
And in February, it’s worth saying clearly:
Love needs orchestration, too.
The 3 Shifts Every Retirement Synthesist Makes
If you’re building toward this role—or looking for an advisor who works this way—here are three mindset shifts to adopt now:
1) Stop planning for retirement. Start planning within it.
You don’t just need a number or an end date.
You need a design for how you’ll move through each phase with clarity and care.
2) Prioritize time literacy over asset accumulation.
People say they fear running out of money.
But often, what they really fear is running out of time that matters—with the people who matter.
Advisors and individuals must ask: “How do we protect meaningful time—not just capital?”
3) Redesign meetings around conversation, not just data.
The spreadsheet tells you what’s possible.
The conversation tells you what’s important.
That’s where the real planning begins.
And in February, it’s worth adding one more truth:
The most loving plans are the ones people and families can follow—together.
Don’t Age According to an Expired Map
Too many people are living longer but still planning their lives by obsolete frameworks.
They hit their 60s and assume they’re supposed to fade quietly into the background.
That’s not just sad—it’s dangerous.
It robs families of wisdom.
It robs communities of leadership.
It robs individuals of their most impactful years.
A Retirement Synthesist™ doesn’t just ask: “Are you ready to retire?”
They ask: “What are you becoming next—and who will you become it with?”
Because in the New Retirement Era, love isn’t just a feeling.
It’s a strategy.
Carroll S. Golden, CLU, ChFC, CLTC, CASL, LECP, FLMI, LACP, is a Retirement Synthesist™ and author of How Not to Pull Your Life Apart and Leading in the New Retirement Era. She helps families and financial professionals plan for the emotional, logistical, and financial challenges of modern longevity.
Start your planning conversation at carrollsgolden.com
📘 This blog builds on themes from my book, Leading in a New Retirement Era: How to Lead, Adapt, and Win in an AI-Driven World. It’s not about creating a one-size-fits-all retirement—it’s about understanding your influences, your finances, and your future so your plan is truly yours.
Disclaimer: This material does not constitute tax, legal, investment, or accounting advice and is not intended for use by a taxpayer for the purposes of avoiding any IRS penalty. Comments on taxation are based on tax law current as of the time this article was produced.
